The World Could Be Burning Down
by The Blonde Haired Goose
Summary: Kurt and Blaine were studying in the library when, somewhere in the building, a shot went off.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This was my contribution to the Kurt and Blaine Reversebang 2013. Warning for guns, school shooting and general angst. Also character death (not Kurt or Blaine). This fic was betaed by the lovely Chanel (butterblainesbutt on tumblr) Enjoy!**

**Part 1 – The library**

"Hey, I know we said we'd meet for lunch, but I have to go to the library to find some stuff before my final. Wanna join me?" Kurt asked, biting his lip as he waited for Blaine to answer.

"Sure!" he said, smiling as he shut his locker and turned towards Kurt. "I wouldn't mind being alone with you for a while, if you know what I mean," he continued with a wink.

"Shut up" Kurt laughed, hitting Blaine jokingly on the arm. His cheeks burned red at his boyfriend's words, but looking around, no one seemed to have heard them. Kurt looked longingly down at Blaine's lips, wishing that his school was accepting enough that he could give his boyfriend a kiss goodbye like all the straight couples did.

Blaine smiled sadly, as if reading his mind. He reached out and took Kurt's hand, squeezing it lightly before letting it go again. "I'll see you after biology," he said, and turned to walk towards his classroom, leaving Kurt to do the same.

English was as boring and repetitive as always. Ms. Glade's voice droning on about some book they were supposed to have read while blatantly ignoring the fact that half the class was asleep, while the rest barely managed to stay awake while drifting in and out of a zombie-like state of mind.

The sharp ring of the bell signaling that class had ended drove its way into Kurt's head like a drill. He blinked a few times to get out of his haze. He got out of his seat and pushed his way out of the room and through the crowd on their way to the cafeteria. He slipped between people, trying to get to his locker.

Depositing his books and picking up some new ones, he slammed his locker shut and started navigating his way towards the library. Entering the small room, he saw that the librarian was gone, leaving behind only a small sign saying _'gone for lunch, back at 12:00'. _

There was no one else in the room, leaving Kurt alone, surrounded by beaten up copies of old books that no one ever read and ten year old computers that barely worked. Messy tables were covered in old food wrappings and occasionally a book or two someone had taken out but not bothered putting it back in its appropriate place. Sighing at the state of his school, and how he sometimes longed for the clean and quiet hallways of Dalton academy, he sat down at one of the less messy tables, getting his books out as he waited for Blaine to arrive. Which he did a few minutes later, backpack slung over one shoulder and books piled in his hands.

"I'm sorry if you had to wait, Kurt, but Mr. Hark held us back for ten minutes talking about how important it is that we know about every little part of the human body, or else we will fail all our exams and never succeed in life and so on. It was very annoying." Blaine concluded, his cheeks flushed red.

Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes affectionately at his boyfriend's rant. He really did hate Mr. Hark. Loved the subject, but hated the teacher. "We're all alone in here," Kurt said conversationally, and Blaine raised his eyebrows. "All alone, you say?" he asked, smirking. Kurt rolled his eyes again. "I didn't mean it like that," he said, and Blaine laughed. "Fine, let's just study then, like we're supposed to be doing." Kurt nodded his agreement, and returned his attention to the books in front of him as Blaine sat down on the other side of the table, dropping his own books next to Kurt's.

They sat in silence for a while, both focusing on their own subject while munching quietly on the food they had brought with them. Just as Kurt looked up to check the big clock on the wall, the first warning belled chimed through the school. "Shit," he muttered under his breath, as Blaine looked up and closed his books.

"I guess we better go to class," Kurt sighed. "Yeah, we wouldn't want to be late," Blaine nodded. They started gathering their books together, depositing them into their bag. Just as they were finished, both turning towards the door, they heard it; an ear-splitting bang ripped through the room, and they were left standing there, struck dumb by the sound.

"What – what was that?" Blaine asked meekly as another crack sounded through the school, making them both jump. "I – I don't know," Kurt said, swallowing. "But it – it sounded like a g – gunshot." Blaine turned to him, eyes wide. "I – this can't be happening. Not here. These things don't really happen, do they?" Blaine asked, looking at Kurt as if he would know the answer.

He didn't. He had no idea what was happening, or why, but he didn't particularly want to leave the library to find out. "I think we should stay here," Kurt said quietly, taking a few steps back from the door just a few feet from them. Blaine followed, looking around the room for something, _anything._

"I think we should hide," he said, biting his lip. Kurt's nod turned quickly into a violent flinch as what they assumed must be a gun went off once again. It really didn't seem safe to just stay where they were. They looked around the small room filled with books to find a suitable place that was big enough for both of them.

They didn't want to spend too much time thinking about it, in case something happened, so in the end they ended up sitting close together in the corner between two bookshelves. In front of them were two couches that may have been red once, but had now faded to a dull brown looking color. They had their backs pressed against the shelves, books stabbing them in the back.

Their location was somewhat hidden by the shelves, but in the room filled with desks and low standing shelves facing the door, they found this to be the safest place. The only entrance to the library was behind them, and there were no windows in the room.

They could still hear commotion outside the library door – which they had locked, in fear of anyone entering. People seemed to be running around the hallways, trying to escape the shooter. A scream could be heard somewhere in the building, but was cut off halfway by another gunshot. Silence followed in its wake, and Kurt didn't even dare look at Blaine. Someone had most likely just died, or at least been seriously hurt.

_Oh god what if the shooter had gotten to their friends? What if any of them had been hurt? What if any of them had died?_ Kurt gasped loudly, trying to hold back the sobs clawing their way up his throat. How were they going to survive this?

Blaine just responded by wrapping his arms tightly around him, drawing him close to his side. He didn't even try to tell him everything was going to be okay, because how could he? How could either of them even try to imagine being safe? Kurt felt as if he hadn't been safe in a million years. It was as if he had been stuck in a state of terror and tears for his entire life.

Kurt didn't know how long they had been sitting there. His legs ached, and his head felt light. They hadn't heard anything in a while; no gunshots, no screaming, nothing. Kurt couldn't decide if he liked the silence or not. It made everything seem so… empty, as if he and Blaine were the only living creatures left in the building. And for all Kurt knew, they could be.

He burrowed his face closer into Blaine's chest, not wanting to think about it. The last few hours, ever since they had heard the first gunshot being fired, had been like a nightmare. They were trapped in a library, behind locked doors, while a crazed lunatic ran around their school shooting people; _Killing people_, most likely.

"I love you," Kurt murmured against the material of Blaine's shirt. Blaine stroked Kurt's back, trying to comfort him. "I love you too. We're gonna get out of here, Kurt, I promise." That was when Kurt broke down, tears streaming freely down his cheeks. "Kurt, calm down," Blaine said, though he was crying himself. "We have to be quiet."

Kurt nodded, stifling a sob as he looked up at Blaine, taking in his red cheeks and teary eyes. "I love you," Kurt said again, throwing his arms around Blaine's neck and hugging him tightly. "I can't lose you," Kurt said. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's back, pulling them closer together. "You're not going to," Blaine promised.

It could have been hours or minutes that they spent in each other's arms, softly murmuring comforting words back and forth. The school seemed eerily quiet around them, though they knew it couldn't be over. Surely someone would have found them and told them if it was.

The handle on the door behind them rattled slightly, as if someone had attempted to open the door. Kurt and Blaine, from where they sat on the floor, froze. The sound stopped after a few seconds, and they looked at each other, identical looks of confusion on their faces.

A much louder sound replaced the rattling, as if someone had thrown something at the door. Or as if they had thrown themselves. The door creaked, but didn't open. At least not on the first try. Another bang. The door didn't give. Another, and another, and another. They came like thunder, bolting through the otherwise quiet room, until at last, the door gave, slamming open and hitting the wall.

Kurt flinched violently into Blaine's side, whimpering softly. Kurt wanted to say something. He wanted to scream and shout or whisper at Blaine that they needed to get out of there, but he couldn't. He sat stock still, unable to move, as they listened to the footsteps moving slowly through the room.

They listened to the groan of leather boots hitting the linoleum, the slow controlled breathing of the person currently on their way towards them, the faster, more frantic breathing of Kurt and Blaine, each trying to be as quiet as possible. Kurt hoped the killer wouldn't find them, that he would just move on, leave the library and – Kurt allowed himself to be selfish, this once – find someone else to ruin the life of. Just not them. Not this time.

The footsteps stopped, and Kurt, for just one brief second, allowed himself to hope. Maybe they'd get out of there alive. Maybe this wasn't how his story ended; on the floor of the library with the boy he loved, not even out of high school.

But then the footsteps picked up again, and Kurt buried his face in his knees, and Blaine wrapped himself around him, one hand holding his and the other wrapped behind his head, fingers clutching his hair as he pushed his face into it.

Blaine's breaths were loud in his ear as the shooter approached them. Kurt dared a peek over his and Blaine's hands where they were tangled together over Kurt's knees.

There he was, barely three feet away, with his back to them. From what Kurt could see, he had blonde spiky hair, what looked like a black cloth of some sort tied around the back of his head, hiding most of his face, all black clothing, and black, tired looking leather boots partly hidden from view. He held a long gun in his right hand, swinging it back and forth as he whistled softly.

Kurt's breath hitched as the shooter turned around and lifted the gun with both hands, pointing it at them. A click broke the silence as the shooter cocked the rifle. "I love you," Kurt said, lifting his head to look at Blaine, tears in his eyes. "I love you too," Blaine answered, swallowing as he waited for the pain that was bound to come soon. The first shot was fired and Kurt screamed as agony pulsed through his left shoulder. The shooter fired his second shot, and Blaine collapsed almost immediately.

As Kurt felt himself slipping into the darkness, he could have sworn he heard people running in the distance, but it was hard to tell. Everything seemed overwhelming; the light was too strong, the sounds too loud, and if Kurt had been able to, he would have sighed in relief as he slipped from consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2 – The hospital**

Blaine blinked his eyes open, hissing softly as the sharp, unnatural lights burned his eyes. He shut them again, fighting the nausea that suddenly seemed to fill every inch of his body. He wanted to throw up, but didn't seem to possess enough control over his body to do so. He felt dizzy, as if the world was spinning around him and he was the only one who stood still.

Breathing slowly and carefully through his nose, Blaine tried to recall what had happened. He had been at school, in the library, studying with Kurt, when suddenly… Oh god. It all came rushing back to him all at once, and his eyes flew open.

_Kurt_. Kurt had been shot.

Blaine tried sitting up, but groaned softly at the strain in his muscles and he had to let himself fall back against the bed. Looking around the empty room simply made him feel worse, reminding him of his last visit there, after the Sadie Hawkins dance. He had only been there for a few days, but it had been the worst days of his life. Waking up in the hospital with three broken ribs, a concussion and serious bruising all over his body hadn't exactly been fun.

And now he was back again, in the exact same position. He had woken up alone the last time too, now that he thought about it. His mother had gone to get herself a cup of coffee, and Cooper was in the bathroom. His father had been away on a business trip, and hadn't been able to get back; or at least, that's what his mother had told him.

"Blaine?" The voice came from the doorway to his right, shaking him out of his train of thought. He turned his head slowly, grimacing at the sharp pain it caused to run through his temple. In the doorway, eyes wide and hair disheveled, stood his brother, Cooper. "Oh Blaine, I'm so glad you're awake," he said, rushing to his side.

Blaine tried to smile, but found that the muscles in his face were so stiff he could barely move them. He opened his mouth to speak, only to find that his throat was too dry for anything other than a whisper to come out. He cleared his throat before trying again. "Where's Kurt?" he asked in a croaking voice.

Cooper looked at him, eyes sad as he bit his lip. Blaine felt as if his heart stopped, right there and then. "What is it," he asked, worried. "Is he okay?" Cooper's expression softened as he sat down in a chair next to Blaine's bed.

"He's getting surgery," Cooper started, but was interrupted by Blaine's loud cry of terror. "Calm down," Cooper said, keeping Blaine from sitting up (not that he would have gotten far anyway). "He's getting surgery," Cooper started again, "but he's going to be fine. I promise."

Blaine sunk back into the pillows, defeated. "What happened?" he asked, looking desperately up at his older brother. Cooper sighed softly, running a hand through his hair.

"From what I've been told, the SWAT team got to you just in time. They burst through the door just as he was about to shoot Kurt, making him look up and hit his shoulder instead, and then when he tried to get you, the SWAT team tackled him, causing the bullet to change course. It barely grazed your head."

Blaine lifted a hand to gently touch the bandages he just now realized were wrapped all the way around his head. Cooper pulled his hand away. "I don't think you should touch it," he said. "I'll go tell the nurse you're awake," he continued, standing up and heading for the door.

Blaine panicked. "No, please don't go," he said desperately, his breathing speeding up as he thought about being left alone in the sterile, white room. He didn't think he could handle it. Cooper turned around, took one look at his distressed expression, and sat back down next to him.

"Hey," Cooper said as Blaine tried to get his breathing under control. "It's okay. I won't go anywhere okay? I'll stay here with you." Cooper leaned over the side of Blaine's bed groping for a second before finding and pressing a small button there. "There. Now they'll come to us," he said with a smile on his face.

Blaine nodded, averting his eyes from Coopers as they waited for someone to come. "Mom and dad are on their way," Cooper said, breaking the tense silence. Blaine snapped his head around to look at Cooper. "They're coming home from Europe? But – but they shouldn't have to do that," Blaine spluttered. "They should be enjoying their second honeymoon, not cancelling and rushing back here just because I – I…" Blaine didn't finish.

Cooper looked at him, disbelieving. "Just because you got freaking shot? If that isn't a good enough reason for them to come back here then I don't know what is," he said, and Blaine hung his head, defeated. "I just don't want to ruin anything for them," he said, voice small.

"Do you honestly believe that they wouldn't go to the end of the world for you? Because they would. They love you, you know," Cooper said softly. "I – I know they do," Blaine said quietly, shaking his head. "It's just –"Blaine's words were cut off as a middle-aged woman entered the room, dressed in a white doctors coat. "Hello Blaine, my name is Dr. Sarah Harris," she said. Blaine nodded.

"Good to see that you're awake again," she continued. "Now, I'm going to talk you through what happened to you. Is that okay?" Blaine nodded again, fiddling with a loose thread in his hospital gown. "The bullet grazed your left temple, which caused a heavy bleeding – but don't worry, head wounds always bleed a lot more than other wounds – and it also caused you to faint, which isn't unusual either. We're going to keep you here for a few more days, just to make sure your wound doesn't bleed anymore and starts healing properly. Do you have any questions?"

Blaine looked up, finally meeting the doctor's eyes. "When can I see Kurt?" he asked quietly. The doctor's gaze softened at the question. "I'm not the one handling his case, but as far as I know, he'll be out of surgery soon. If nothing happens, you could probably go see him when he wakes up. It's a fairly simple procedure. He should be alright." she said.

Cooper squeezed his hand reassuringly and thanked the doctor. She merely nodded before leaving the room. "See? I told you he was gonna be fine," Cooper said. Blaine released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and nodded, ignoring the way tears sprung to his eyes at the thought of Kurt.

Blaine sat up when a nurse came in to change his bandages, but otherwise kept quiet. Cooper tried to get him to talk, but Blaine ignored him, rolling over in his bed and closing his eyes, feigning sleep. After a while, Cooper stopped talking, and Blaine fell into a fitful slumber.

_Blaine was running. He didn't know where, or from what, but he knew that he couldn't stop. If he stopped, something horrible would happen. And besides, he had to find Kurt. He had to make sure Kurt was okay. _

_A shot rang out behind him, and he rounded a corner. He threw a quick look over his shoulder, trying to see who – or what – was chasing him, but all he saw was darkness. _

_He stumbled forward as his foot got caught in something. He stretched out his arms to catch himself, and landed in a huge heap of white clothing. He scrambled to get up, but his legs were caught in the fabric, twirling around him and dragging him down. _

_He could hear footsteps behind him, and he struggled harder to free himself._

_A hand shot out from nowhere, and Blaine grabbed it, purely on instinct. The hand pulled him from the seemingly bottomless heap of clothes, and onto the floor. The footsteps were still approaching, and he went to tell whoever had helped him just that._

_He looked up, and found Kurt standing there, in front of him, dressed all in white. "Kurt," Blaine breathed, relief seeping through him only to be replaced by dread a second later. "Kurt, we have to get out of here," he said desperately, quickly getting to his feet and reaching to grab Kurt's hand to drag him in the opposite direction of the monster behind them. Another shot rang out, this time closer and louder._

_Just as his fingers were supposed to close around Kurt's wrist, Kurt pulled away, eyes wide and fearful. "Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine asked frantically, watching as the color left Kurt's face and he crumbled to the floor. Blaine kneeled down next to his boyfriend, shaking his shoulders lightly, trying to get a reaction. _

_As his hands roamed over the white clothing Kurt was clad in, a red spot started growing from Kurt's stomach, spreading quickly as the light left Kurt's sky blue eyes. _

Blaine shot up in his hospital bed, breathing harshly and drenched in his own cold sweat. The room was doused in darkness, save for the tiny slither of light coming from the hallway outside, creeping its way underneath the closed door to Blaine's room. He must have been asleep for hours.

His breathing steadied with time, and he was relieved to find Cooper asleep in the chair next to his bed, just where he had been when Blaine had fallen asleep.

Warm tears sprung to his eyes as he thought about the dream he had had. The thought of Kurt, dead on the floor, made his stomach squirm uncomfortably. He shook his head. It was just a dream. Kurt was going to be okay.

Blaine sighed softly, closing his eyes and trying to get back to sleep. After a few minutes he gave up, sitting up and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. Kurt's operation had to be finished by now. Maybe Blaine could find his room, or at the very least, wander around for a while until he felt ready to go back to bed.

Blaine got to his feet, knees weak and wobbly after having stayed mostly in a hospital bed all day and night, save for using the bathroom once. He steadied himself with a hand on the bed, but soon felt sure enough to take the few steps to the door.

Wincing as the door creaked open, Blaine turned to look over his shoulder, making sure his brother was still asleep. No matter how self-centered he might be, Blaine had no doubt that if Cooper saw him leaving his room, he would drag him back, kicking and screaming, assuring him that it was for his own good.

He closed the door quietly behind him, looking around the dimly lit corridor to check that no one was watching. Not that anyone had specifically told him that he couldn't go anywhere, but he had a feeling that wandering around a hospital in the middle of the night might be slightly frowned upon by the nurses on watch.

He walked around aimlessly for a while, hoping to tire himself out enough to fall back to sleep. And that's when he heard it. Noises so soft he wasn't even sure if he'd heard them or not. Blaine turned to where he thought he'd heard the noise, and found himself walking closer to a door that was barely cracked open.

As he neared the door he could make out words and whimpers. "No, no, please don't. Blaine, please, help me." Blaine flinched visibly at the sound of his boyfriend's voice.

He pushed open the door slowly, squinting his eyes at the darkness inside. Kurt was lying under the covers, tossing and turning with a distressed look on his face. His arm was wrapped in bandages, not unlike Blaine's head.

Looking past Kurt, he found Burt on a small couch, snoring softly. Blaine silently moved further into the room, letting the door close behind him.

Ignoring every instinct he had that told him it wasn't a good idea to wake someone during a nightmare, Blaine shook Kurt's healthy shoulder lightly. He couldn't stand to see his boyfriend in pain.

Kurt's eyes fluttered open after a few seconds, his breathing harsh. "Blaine?" he said disbelievingly after a few seconds of blinking. "Oh Kurt," Blaine whispered, conscious of Kurt's father asleep just a few feet away as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Kurt stared at him with wide eyes. "What happened to your head?" he asked, staring at the bandages wrapped securely around Blaine's head.

"I – The bullet grazed my head," he said with a shrug. "It's not a big deal."

"How's your arm?" Kurt blinked and looked down; seeming to have forgot that his arm was as wrapped up in bandages as Blaine's head. "I – it's okay, I guess. I can't really feel it," he said with a small smile. Blaine smiled back, feeling some of the tension from the last 24 hours leaving him.

"Have you heard anything about any of the others?" Kurt asked after a few moments of silence. Blaine shook his head lightly. "No, Cooper told me he didn't want to talk about, you know, the shooting." Kurt nodded. "My dad told me the same thing." They both turned their heads to look at Burt, still asleep on the couch.

"I'm just glad we're alive," Blaine said, swallowing down the wave of guilt that bubbled up inside him. Because even though he hadn't been told anything, he was certain that people had died. People he knew. People with dreams and goals that would never be accomplished.

He knew he'd have to think about it later, but right now, Blaine was just happy that he and Kurt were alive.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3 – The funeral**

"Blaine?" Blaine's head turned away from his mother – his parents had arrived that very morning and had gone straight to the hospital – to find Kurt standing in the doorway. His hair was a mess, and he was wearing a loose _'Hummel's tires and lube'_ sweatshirt. His left arm was hanging in its sling, resting against his chest. His eyes were rimmed red, as if he had been crying.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, the easy smile he had sported from talking to his mom melting away.

"Did you – did you hear about – about Rachel?" Kurt asked shakily, swallowing down sobs as they tried to claw their way up his throat. Blaine blinked slowly. "I – what? I thought – I thought she was recovering? I thought she was doing better?"

Kurt shook his head slowly. "Yeah, she was, at first, but apparently it took a turn for the worst last night. She - she died this morning." Kurt could barely get the words out without breaking down.

Ignoring the fact that his mother, father and brother were all in the room, Blaine pushed aside the covers on his bed, slid his feet down onto the floor, and reached out to embrace his boyfriend.

Kurt buried his face in the crook of Blaine's neck, shaking with the force of his sobs. Tears were quickly making their way from Blaine's eyes and down his cheeks.

The situation reminded him eerily of that afternoon; cramped together on the floor in the library, hiding behind shelves at the back of the room, Kurt pressing his body against Blaine's, trying to make themselves as small as possible as the shooter walked towards them, just a pull of the trigger away from ending their lives.

Blaine blinked shaking away the last bits of the memory as he patted Kurt's back. "I'm so sorry, Kurt," Blaine whispered into his hair, sniffling quietly.

Blaine walked them slowly backwards until the back of Blaine's thighs hit the edge of Blaine's hospital bed. He pulled them down until Blaine was leaning against the wall with Kurt over his chest. He didn't even care about the looks he got from his father as he awkwardly got to his feet with his mother and Cooper, mumbling something about giving them some space before shutting the door behind them.

Blaine clenched his eyes shut, trying to process the fact that when he left this hospital, it was to find a world without Rachel Berry in it. Two weeks ago, a world without Rachel Berry might have seemed like a tiny piece of heaven where they didn't have to listen to her going on and on about how they absolutely _needed_ to do a Celine Dion medley at Nationals and that she needed to have at least two solos. Now, however, it just seemed… quiet. Really, really quiet and Blaine didn't like it.

Rachel's funeral was held the next day, at the Lima funeral home. Kurt and Blaine got the green light from their doctors to go; they were both mostly healed anyway. So they got dressed in the black outfits their parents had brought them from home, and left the hospital.

Her dads were hysterical, but they managed to pull themselves together enough to say a truly moving speech about their daughter's too short life. Don't cry for me Argentina was playing softly on repeat in the background. Kurt had once told him that that was the one song that was deemed good enough to be played at Rachel Berry's funeral.

After her dads, Rachel's grandmother, two of her aunts, and one of her uncles got up to speak too. The Berrys had asked both Kurt and Blaine if they wanted to speak, but they had both agreed that it was too soon. It was too painful. And then it was Finn's turn. He got up from his seat between Carole and Kurt, and made his way shakily up to the front of the room.

He spent a few seconds just staring at the closed casket, knowing what was inside it. _Who_ was inside it. And then he turned around, eyes red and teary. He held his speech in his hands, clutching it so hard Blaine was sure he would rip the paper in half. He didn't. Instead, he cleared his throat, and started talking.

"I – I've known Rachel since we were sophomores. I'll admit, we didn't exactly get along when we first met. To be honest, I thought she was kind of creepy. But then – then I got to know her. I heard her sing, I heard her talk, and I just knew, I knew that whatever she decided she wanted; she was going to get it. She was the most ambitious person I knew."

Finn paused to take a few shaky breaths before continuing. "And then we got together. And then we broke up. And we got back together again. Yeah, we were on and off for a while," Finn said with a small chuckle.

"And I – I guess it took me awhile, but I knew that Rachel was going places. And I knew that I wanted to be there when it happened. Because no matter what was going to happen, I needed to see it with my own eyes."

"I knew, with every fiber of my being, that I wanted to be there for her, no matter what happened. I wanted to be there for her when she got her big breakthrough, and when things went wrong. I wanted to be the first one she called with news after an audition. But most of all I just wanted to be there for her, even if I knew that I didn't deserve her."

"So I asked her to marry me, and she, by some miracle said yes. That was probably the happiest moment of my life. I'm just glad I got to experience it before… well, before it happened".

"I can't say that I'm ever going to be okay with what happened. But I can say this; Rachel is – was – one of those people you just can't forget. She was one of those people who sneaks her way into your life, and when she's in, she doesn't leave. Not even for a second."

"Yes, I will miss Rachel very much, and yes what happened was horrible, and it should never ever have happened. And I should have been there with her when it happened. But, as much as we don't want it to, life moves on. And what I want, and what I'm sure Rachel would have wanted, is that we keep living our lives. Every second of every day."

"Because no matter how much I want to lock myself in my room and cry, and never leave, I know that's not what Rachel would have wanted me to do. Rachel wouldn't have wanted anyone of us to do that. So I'm going to live my life twice. Once for me, and once for her."

As Finn returned to his seat, he had tears staining his cheeks, but he also had a look of determination on his face. Like a huge load had been lifted from his shoulders. "That was lovely," Carole said as he sat down, grabbing Finn's hand and squeezing it. "I hope I make her proud," Finn whispered. "I know you will honey, I know you will," Carole said as Finn buried his face in the material of her black dress.

Kurt and Blaine held each other through the rest of the ceremony, and when they lowered the casket into the grave.

Maybe it was the head wound acting up, but Blaine felt really disconnected, almost as if it wasn't him standing there watching one of his best friends being lowered into the ground. It had to be some other Rachel Berry, with some other friend called Blaine Anderson who happened to date some other Kurt Hummel.

Of course he knew that wasn't possible. It was a nice thought though, as he stood outside in the warm May weather with the love of his life, to pretend for a few minutes that this wasn't happening to them.


End file.
